When talking lightweight you really need to look hard at the market to find a stove to suit the purpose. There are some terrific titanium stoves and some very compact stoves that are only a few grams more. Do you need really a windshield or will a nearby rock do?
Pots, pans, kettles, plates, cutlery, cafeteria… what do you really need? Although items may come in a ‘set’ you probably only need one pot, one pan and one spoon. Perhaps adding one plate or dish.
Think through your cooking routine. Trying it out at home in the back garden with your chosen type of meal is not as daft as it sounds. Also consider the size and shape of these items. Does the gas cylinder sit inside your main cook pot? Does the cook pot fit into your sack where you want it for a daytime brew?
What about cleaning these items? I use a green scourer and a jay cloth which sits in my pot set. When washing up, NEVER swill the contents of the pan out into the stream. Large amounts of waste need to be carried out in a plastic bag, small amounts of waste can be taken 200 metres from the water source.